I Love You So Stinkin’ Much

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I ordered supplements on Amazon, Milk Thistle, and plant-based Omega-3s. My body does better with plant-based omegas, and I’ve learned to listen when it tells me what it prefers. 

The order was delayed but arrived safely on Friday morning. The package sat on my counter for a while before I opened it. Eventually, I tipped the bag, the bottles fell out, I opened them, took what I needed, and moved on with my day. Nothing remarkable. Just another routine moment in a busy life. 

A few hours later, I needed a break from the people I work with. I wandered into the kitchen to put dishes away and grabbed the empty package to fold it for recycling. As I bent it, I felt something lumpy still inside. 

Huh. Did I order anything else? 

Nope. 

I tipped the bag again, and out fell a small, crocheted toilet paper roll with a note that read: 
“I love you so stinkin’ much.” 

I laughed out loud. Like, really laughed. And I remember thinking; this is exactly what I needed. 

And then, as these moments often do, it cracked something open. 

I love you so stinkin' much

How Much Do We Really Love Ourselves?

How much do we really love ourselves? 

Not the surface-level, walking-past-the-mirror, “I love you” kind of love. Not the Instagram caption version. I mean the deep, internal dialogue, the one running quietly (or loudly) in the background all day long. 

If you heard some of the things I say to myself, you’d probably stop me mid-sentence. 

“Oh hell no.” 

Because loving ourselves goes far beyond saying the words. 

We say I love you… 
…while telling ourselves we’re fat. 
…while criticizing our hair sticking out after pulling on a staticky sweater. 
…while mentally punishing ourselves for enjoying a sweet treat. 

We say I love you… 
…but don’t set boundaries around our time. 
…but push through exhaustion. 
…but attach love to conditions. 

I’ll love you when… 
When I lose the weight. 
When I get the job. 
When I find the partner. 
When I finally get it together. 

The reason these words are on this page is because I do this too. I say things to myself I would never say to a friend. 

“Jesus, Joan, do you think your ass could be any bigger?” 

We’ve all done it. 

Love Is the Missing Ingredient

I truly believe that no matter how clean you eat, how much you exercise, or how many supplements you take, nothing fully takes hold without self-love. 

And I don’t mean later. 

Not after the body changes. 
Not after the success arrives. 
Not after you feel worthy. 

Now. 

If self-love feels inaccessible, that’s okay. Start small. Baby steps count. 

Talk to yourself the way you talk to your dog. 

“Ohhh, Benji… do you need a belly rub? 
How about a snack? 
Want to snuggle? 
Come here and give mommy some smooches.” 

Gentle. Kind. Present. 

Set one boundary, even a small one. A non-negotiable 15-minute walk. A journaling ritual in the morning. Time that belongs to you, no explanations required. 

And yes, give yourself a hug. Your nervous system will thank you. 

A Simple Self-Love Ritual

Try this tonight or tomorrow morning: 

      1. Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. 
      2. Take three slow breaths. 
      3. Say (out loud if you can): 
        “I don’t have to earn my love. I give it freely.” 
      4. Do one small act of care — water, rest, movement, or warmth. 
      5. Smile if it comes naturally. If not, that’s okay too. 

Healing doesn’t begin with perfection. 
It begins with kindness. 

And sometimes, it arrives unexpectedly, tucked inside an Amazon package, reminding you that you are already loved… 

so stinkin’ much. 💛 

Disclaimer: The information in this post is for educational purposes only and is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician or qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or before beginning any new herbal regimen.

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